"If you've ever doubted the power of rock (or music for that matter), you can renew your faith by reading Born to Run… And Write"*

Ain’t That Young Anymore

Posted on March 17th, 2012

“So you’re scared and you’re thinking
That maybe we ain’t that young anymore”

- Bruce Springsteen, Thunder Road, 1975

This is the last post which I will ever write as a “child”. In less than 1 hour I will be 18 years old. 00:00, March 18th 2012 marks the moment at which my childhood will officially end, being replaced by the void which is my future as an adult. I stare the rest of my life in the face, and reflect upon what has been – almost – 18 years of life. When I think about everything which I have experienced, both individually, and as part of my family, and society, I am staggered that, as opposed to coming to the end of adulthood, I am merely just beginning. With this in mind it should seem fitting that I would feel able to embrace adulthood from any moment, yet the truth is that tonight I sit here, with 54 minutes until I become an adult, with unquestionable trepidation – although that should not detract from the fervent excitement I feel at the possibility of realising my dreams.

My childhood has thrown upon me more experiences than I would have expected the whole of life itself to, and whilst it is arguable that I was thrust into adulthood some years ago, only now am I about to become 18 – and for whatever reason, that “official” age which represents adulthood being associated with me is frankly surreal. It seems like only yesterday that my best friend Liam and I were “playing” soldiers in the fields behind my house. Liam is now a soldier in the 9th/12th Royal Lancers of the British Army, as a vehicle mechanic. Many of my friends are now embarking upon careers, whether academic or within jobs. Many are now driving, and most are experiencing the joys of getting pissed in bars and clubs. School will soon be over, and the fact is that we are all growing up.

Had you asked me a few years ago about where I expected to be at this point in my life, I would have responded by telling you of my intentions of pursuing a “professional” degree, for a “professional” career. I would have expected at this point to be in the process of accepting a place at University, and despite getting 5/5 offers from University a few weeks ago, I will soon be leaving school not to pursue academics, but rather my dream of seeing Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band on their World Tour (which kicks off the moment I become an adult), and my intentions of travelling to New Jersey, the Land of Hope and Dreams, and heck – if I don’t end up staying there (*fingers crossed for an opportunity to arise*) – I will dedicate more time to just doing what makes me happy. I am more than prepared to get a ‘punch in, punch out’ job, and will spend my hard earned cash travelling, and of course I will enjoy the pleasure of writing wherever it is that my ventures take me. There are some who disagree with my decisions regarding my life and future, but that’s just it – they are my decisions to make. I am following my heart, and the first time in a while am looking forward to enjoying life to the full.

I could sit here and spend the last 32 minutes of my childhood talking about the experiences which have made my childhood the rite of passage which it has been, but that can wait for the future. At this moment, despite all that has defined the past few years – a lot of which I have written about here, I am making the conscientious and active decision to enter adulthood in the way in which I intend to embrace it – with optimism, excitement, and determination to make my dreams real.

People have asked me how I intend to mark my transition into adulthood, and whilst I know it is considered tradition to go out and get totally drunk when one becomes 18 (which I won’t be doing for obvious reason, ha ha. Although – “like father like son”!), I am going to mark my 18th in the most special way I know. At 3 minutes to midnight I am going to play “Jungleland”, and so it will be the magic, beauty, and soul of Clarence Clemon’s famous Sax solo which takes me into the future. I will spend my last moments of childhood, and my first moments of adulthood with the BIGGEST MAN YOU’VE EVER SEEN.

I have faith in the future, and as Springsteen so passionately proclaims - FAITH will be REWARDED. And even though I’m scared and thinking that maybe I ain’t that young anymore, The Boss reminds me to Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night… You aint a beauty, but hey you’re alright. Oh, and that’s alright with me.

Ooh... growin' up

Categories: Change, Childhood, Music

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Oh, Come Take My Hand

Posted on March 6th, 2012

Today marks the official worldwide release and availability of Bruce Springsteen’s new album, “Wrecking Ball”. Whilst many fans heard the album when it was leaked online 2 weeks ago, there is always an extraordinary sense of magic to be felt and experienced when the album which we have all so longed for finally hits the shelves. Whilst many say that “The Boss is Back”, we fans maintain that actually he never went away – although we can understand why this is currently the general consensus. In the eyes of the public, Bruce Springsteen is back in the spotlight – from the announcement last November of a new album and World Tour, to the surprise release of the hit single from the new album, “We Take Care Of Our Own”, to finally the release of “Wrecking Ball” itself, and, last Friday, a groundbreaking (and stage rocking!) performance by Bruce and the E Street Band on Jimmy Fallon’s late night show. Brucespringsteen.net has been revamped, and within a few weeks Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will again take to the stage of the world, and continue their solemn vow and promise to ROCK the house.

To say that these are exciting times would be an understatement. “Wrecking Ball” is one of the greatest records of our times, and arguably one of the best which Bruce has ever made. When the album was first leaked I wrote some initial impressions about it, which you can read here. I promised to write more about the album, and now that it has been released officially I shall. Like most fans I have fallen deeply, deeply in love with “Wrecking Ball”… Especially the poignantly beautiful “Jack Of All Trades”, which is sure to move even the most stubborn of music critics. The album’s songs offer a vast array of musical sound and depth, providing a similar diversity in its effect on people, although the tones which underpin this momentous album remain constant, with the exception of maybe one song.

As demonstrated on the Jimmy Fallon show last Friday, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are rocking as hard as ever; their rendition of the “E Street Shuffle” was as breathtaking and as it was beautifully nostalgic, yet also ‘current’, “Death To My Hometown” was as powerful sonically as it was in message, and “Jack Of All Trades”, with Tom Morello playing a poignantly simplistic guitar solo was stunning, its beauty matched only by its power and ability to move. What is clear also is that the E Street Band absolutely loves the new album. Watching the look on Stevie Van Zandt’s face as Bruce broke into the already famous line of “I’ll mow your lawn, clean the leaves out your drain” (echoing the struggles of people the world over to access even basic welfare), backed by piano and drums, you could tell that the E Street Band felt as intensely the truth of “Wrecking Ball” as Bruce himself does. This bodes well for the tour, as “Wrecking Ball” is an example of perfect timing – Bruce and the band are giving the world this album when we need it most.

When, on March the 18th (my 18th Birthday I hasten to add – good karma I hope!), Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band take to the stage in Atlanta, the first of 53+ shows across Europe and America (and this is only the start…), they will celebrate the first night of many where together we will take part in the holy communion of the Church of Springsteen. FAITH will be REWARDED.

Could the “Wrecking Ball” world tour be the first attempts at fixing a broken world? Time will tell. In the mean time, it’s time to ROCK.

(Sadly due to copyright issues I cannot post the Fallon interview at present, but here is the E Street Band performing at this year’s GRAMMYs… Wow)

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More to come on “Wrecking Ball” soon. Also, I hope that the new look of the blog is liked!

Categories: Music

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Hard Times

Posted on March 5th, 2012

The following is a rather painful flow of rhetoric which echoed a deep sense of unhappiness which I experienced yesterday. I wrote it in upset and posted it to my blog instantly, regretting it almost straight away and removing it. Having reviewed it today, I feel it is only right to post it once more. I feel that whilst the following no longer represents how I feel most of the time, it should serve as an example that even when one is “exiting the woods” of depression, the after effects of living with such unhappiness for so long can come back to haunt you with even more power than the pain itself ever even consumed you with.

The promise that “things will get better” is one which many of us seek refuge in at times of great depression. I know this as I have relied upon the notion that things do “improve” to sustain me when times have been tough. For years I have been swimming against the tide of life, but lately my “remarkable” ability to “keep resurfacing” (as put by a teacher of mine) has been tested to the point where I am having a hard time resurfacing anymore. I believe that there is really only so much pain which one person can take in their lifetime, beyond which a person becomes irreparably damaged. It is becoming increasingly common for me to feel like a victim of such pain – unable to repair and continue – but surprisingly my ability to resurface has not expired yet. Amazing, when I consider the fact that frankly in my life of less than 18 years I have experienced more than what I would have expected in an entire lifetime. I try passionately not to make my posts seem self-pitying, usually by being conservative with my emotions, however today things are different – I just can’t continue to resurface anymore.

Today has unquestionably been one of the most difficult days I have had in months. My life is falling apart around me, and whilst I am assured that “all is not lost” by some, I do not think that this is true anymore. I feel broken, and the only emotion which I feel consistently is deep unhappiness. I am fed up with constantly trying to make my life work when everything keeps going wrong. I fight, and fight, and fight, doing everything in my power to succeed, yet by some sick streak of bad luck literally everything which I attempt fails. My internal criticism is matched only by the contempt which a few individuals hold for me, sadly these people are ones who have great control over my life… And with the same bitter blow which these people have sent my way, my dreams are dwindling. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true, or is it something worse?” – I now know the answer. Sad, since I am not even technically an adult yet. I feel painfully alone in a world of darkness, and if truth be told there is not one thing in my life which I don’t associate with at least some pain anymore. What kind of life is this? I feel pathetic and exhausted, and also acutely aware of how “worried” my blog readers will be reading this. Don’t worry – I’m not going anywhere. Unless God himself should smite me down, I will continue to wake up every day into this life which I cannot bare.

It angers me when people consistently tell me that things will get better, because I have been waiting for a decade now – since I was a child – for things to improve within my family, and myself… It never does. Any modicum of hope which has been presented to me has been taken away, leaving more pain than what was present before it arrived. I lost my best friend last year, and the past 9 months have seen the systematic destruction of my education. Ironically I got 5 University offers last week, as though some kind of cruel joke from someone above. The offers are on the condition that I perform well in this year’s exams, but in the prelims which I just sat, I failed half of my exams. I have next to no chance of doing well this year, something which my Guidance teacher and Head of Year would fervently dispute, but sadly I feel I am right in this situation. To top that, today I was also confronted by a teacher who belittled me in front of a class, and another teacher who ripped something I was fighting for to shreds in front of peers. The first teacher is a bully and I was wrong to expect anything different from her, however the second teacher was one who I have always maintained a good relationship with. What he did today killed another small part of me. Not only this, but I also face losing one of the last good teachers I have, a man I have known for nearly 6 years and who is one of my last allies at school. I seem to be losing everything, and hardly know my own life. Waking up in the morning I barely recognise the world around me anymore – a feeling which I sadly believe is shared by many.

What a pathetic piece of writing this is. Why should I be upset though? The dream I had of being a writer has disappeared… I’m not even very good. My writing seems to me to be boring and repetitive, which is a blow as words seem to be all I have. However, I take this blow in the same way which I take other blows, with acceptance and I hope at least a degree of dignity.

No doubt I will regret posting this sometime in the near future, but it should serve as an example of the truth of my experience in this moment. To feel so deeply depressed at 17, or any age, is bad enough, but that moment when such a feeling becomes the norm? That is something which nobody should have to experience. Sadly I, like many others, have. I guess the thing which feels worst is the sense of loneliness. Unless you have experienced it then you won’t know this – to feel alone is maybe the worst thing in the world.

I’ll go to bed shortly and probably shed a tear or two as I did when I got home this evening… Eventually I will tire and fall asleep – waking up tomorrow and trying it all over again. As The Boss himself said - “everyday it just gets harder to live, this dream I’m believing in”.

With my rational mind I disagree with a lot of what I wrote yesterday, however in that moment there was a bitter truth in what I said. Sitting here with hindsight and a degree of mindfulness I realise that the days of such thinking and emotion defining my life are on their way out. This isn’t because today was any better, as I actually received further bad news academically and am as concerned about my future as I was this time yesterday – however today I appreciate the words of someone who said to me – “People told Bruce to give up and change his plans many times”, but he didn’t. “Talk about a dream, try to make it real.”  - I have my dreams, and with every ounce of pain which I experience and overcome I feel closer to achieving my dreams… No matter how tough life gets, we’ve all got something to live for, people to fight for, and a dream to achieve.

 

“Well everybody’s got a secret, son, something that they just can’t face.
Some folks spend their whole lives trying to keep it, they carry it with them every step that they take
Till some day they just cut it loose, cut it loose or let it drag ‘em down
Where no one asks any questions or looks too long in your face
In the darkness on the edge of town.” 

Categories: My thoughts.

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Wrecking Ball

Posted on February 21st, 2012

If ever I questioned the existence of God, I look at Bruce Springsteen and realise that the notion of the Lord working in “mysterious ways” is nothing short of truth. In a world ravaged by global warming, famine, and war, where western society is characterised by greed, a lust for money, and a fervent desire for power, more often than not it is easy to become disillusioned with the dreams which so fuelled our transition from childhood into adulthood. The idea of the great “American Dream” – a dream which at one point symbolised all that was good about the western world and its ability to offer equal opportunities to all men – is becoming something which is nearly as unattainable as the wealth which now represents it. Whilst the fundamental key to our survival as a people is compassion, unity, and an impassioned desire to better ourselves and those with whom we exist, the fact is that in today’s world those basic human needs have been decimated by a global elite dedicated to nothing but furthering themselves at the expense of every other person. The Global Economic and Financial Crisis of recent years destroyed our planet, but even more profoundly annihilated the humanity of generations. Not just one generation – every generation. From the elderly who cannot afford to house themselves, to the parents who cannot afford to feed their children, to their children who will have no job opportunities upon leaving school… A select few have managed to completely devastate the lives of many. The hopelessness which this has instilled in the many has caused further prosper for the few, as we feel less empowered to provoke the change which we know is key to our survival. The status quo which exists is being maintained, as the systematic destruction of our world and all that humanity should have as a basic right becomes more a notion, and less a reality. We as a people are broken; our dreams are deserting us, and any hope of change seems to be as non existent as the money which brought about this problem in the first place. In a world defined by woe and depression, where society is as desolated as the people who built it, the light in our darkness has seemed to be dwindling.

The calm tranquility of the past, where we sought refuge in the waters of denial, has been replaced by a storm which ravages this world. No longer can we postpone addressing the problems which we know exist, as that precious little resource which allowed us to avoid confronting these issues, time, is now running out. Money has disappeared from the pockets of the working man, and exists merely as an entity with which the global elite cast their aspersions in one another’s ways. The fracturing of the very things which make us human is becoming as acute as our need to change, and the fact is that if we do not rise up now, we may never be able to again.

When one looks at the world in the cruel light of day, it is easy to question whether there is even a God anymore, let alone whether or not he is worthy of our faith. However, in the first line of this article I mentioned Bruce Springsteen, as he is one of the few men in the history of humanity to fully and perfectly utilise the beauty of language and music to reflect the pain in our hearts, and the desolation of a broken world. Throughout his long career he has saved more lives than even the good about which he sings, and has instilled in people the world over a sense of worth, a love for others, and a desire to fight for the common things which unite us in decency, justice, and love. Often speaking to us at our darkest moments, whether as a people within a societal context, or as individuals braving the often cruel waters of life, Springsteen has not only managed to address that which causes us pain, but also maintain that degree of dignified but fervent optimism which so defines his message and music. Whilst Springsteen’s message is always fought with dignity, with equal truth and power he can fight with vigour and anger. From the day’s of “Born In The U.S.A.” to “The Rising”, today he gives us “Wrecking Ball” – an album which I am sure will go down in history as one of the most scathing attacks of politicians and bankers ever to be delivered by a musician of Springsteen’s caliber.

Despite its release date still a good couple of weeks away, “Wrecking Ball” has already begun its journey to the heart of the social elite who have caused us such suffering. Having now been “leaked” we fans have had the honour of baring witness to, and experiencing something very special indeed. “Wrecking Ball” is history in the making, and will break your heart in the process. Its brutal truth is unparalleled in music today, and it is safe to say that this album is already one of the finest which Springsteen has ever made. When I heard it nearly 24 hours ago I was struck by its overwhelming presence of honesty. Springsteen tackles the cruel injustices of our world without any inhibition… He goes for the jugular, takes no prisoners, and blood is certainly spilled.

The release of “Wrecking Ball” has come at a time when such power in music is needed now more than ever. Springsteen is our spiritual leader, and representative. He sings about us, with us, and for us, and in today’s world where the people he cares about most – us – have become so intrinsically hurt by the “fat cats” of banking and politics, we are confronted with a man who is on a mission to get some damn justice for the crimes which have been committed. As The Boss himself sings in “Jack Of All Trades”, one of the most painfully beautiful songs which I have ever heard, “If I had me a gun, I’d find the bastards and shoot ‘em on sight” .

Coming at a time of great darkness, “Wrecking Ball” is already providing a dark but raging light to guide us through the turbulent times ahead. I believe that this new record will inspire the people in the way we need to provoke change, or at least see in ourselves the worth to do so. Where we are broken, Springsteen seeks to heal us, where we are disillusioned, Springsteen seeks to inspire us, and where we are angry, Springsteen seeks to harness that energy and provoke us to rise up.

“Wrecking Ball” offers an array of depth to be explored. The degree of anger of which I have spoken is evident throughout the majority of the album, however there are profound new musical angles to be enjoyed too. Whilst the message in Springsteen’s words is as powerful as it is possible to be, the actual sonic beauty of the album is nothing short of perfection. The music itself is as strong as the word’s which define its initial success in reception by fans. “Rocky Ground” may well be the first song by Bruce Springsteen to feature a degree of rap, and the hauntingly beautiful sax solo of “Land Of Hope And Dreams” is something which will provoke more tears than even the cruel realities of which Springsteen speaks. To hear the last ever real sax solo of Clarence Clemons (with The Boss at least) was more overwhelming than any other aspect of the album, and where some might hear Clarence’s “goodbye”, I hear his cool and loving message of “see you on the other side”.

I will be posting considerably in the near future about “Wrecking Ball”, but wanted to finish this day with my impressions of what “Wrecking Ball” is all about. We have in our midst a musical and philosophical marvel; an album which punches harder than anything I have ever seen produced in my lifetime, which attacks the global elite in the brutal way in which they deserve to be treated, and which most importantly serves as a symbolic gesture and inspiration to the rest of us that the fight is still on.

I finish with one of the versus of “Jack Of All Trades”, which I will be writing about properly soon. It is unquestionably one of the most beautiful, yet painful songs I have ever heard. It ripped my heart in two. The moment I heard it I cried, as the truth in its message was overwhelming. I also fell deeply in love… A feeling which I think is going to be shared by many friends within the Springsteen fan community. “Wrecking Ball” is breathtaking.

“Now sometimes tomorrow
Comes soaked in treasure and blood
Hey, we stood the drought
Now we’ll stand the flood
There’s a new world coming
I can see the light
I’m a jack of all trades
We’ll be all right”

Categories: Love Revolution, Music

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Everything Is Everything

Posted on February 14th, 2012

For my parents, who should have been celebrating Valentine's Day together

“Coffee cups on the counter, jackets on the chair
Papers on the doorstep, you’re not there
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
But you’re missing”

- Bruce Springsteen

Today marks the 4th anniversary of my Dad’s death, for it was on Thursday the 14th of February 2008 that I woke up to find my Dad dead outside my door. I was 13, and he was 41. Things had been bad in my family for a long time at this point, and whilst I wish I could say that I was “ready” for something so profoundly difficult to come my way, my Dad’s death totally destroyed my world. 4 years on and I am no longer the young 13 year old who desperately tried to resuscitate my Dad, whilst not actually knowing what “resuscitate” meant, rather I am 17 – soon to be 18, with the whole world at my fingertips, and a life to live. My transition from childhood to adulthood was forced upon me and damaged me in more ways than I can describe, but finally I have reached a point where I can acknowledge my own strength to at least match my own pain. With the notion of “pain” in my mind I confront the fact that as hard as I try to be a “man” about things, facing the 4th anniversary of losing my Dad today has filled me with a deep unhappiness, but even more so a longing for the childhood which I so miss, and the man who was my Dad. Alas, I cannot change the past, and as much as I have tried, I cannot change what happened to my Dad either. He died 4 years ago, and that milestone will only live to be superseded year on year, until as a 90 year old man I will not have seen my Father for 77 years. This reality is one which I need to confront with the same strength and honesty as the truth in my Dad’s death also. You can’t run from the past, and you certainly cannot hide from the future.

When I wake up later I will look in the mirror and see staring back at me a 17 year old with a few gray hairs, bags under his eyes, and a deep longing for something better. My eyes will be unusually sunken, and I will see in them the need to acknowledge my family’s reality, and the fact that another year has passed since I said goodbye to Dad. However, unlike the boy I woke up as 4 years ago, the man I will wake up as today will have many of the assets vital for surviving what will be a tough day.

Recently I found a voice – a voice which has saved me nearly as many times as the man I write about. I’m currently living a life which is almost perfectly represented and reflected by the words and music of that man, Bruce Springsteen. In fact, he once said that “In the early years, I found a voice that was my voice and also partly my father’s voice.”  That is something which I can relate to more than anything else right now, and which resonates with me strongly. Furthermore, I have learned in Springsteen’s music that many of the troubles which I am going through he experienced himself, but he made it. He survived. And so can I. Never underestimate the power of music. I owe my life to it, as do a number of people I know. The Boss has provided me with the music and strength vital to surviving this world, and to also build the courage needed to continue in the face of adversity. As the man himself put it - “The best music, you can seek some shelter in it momentarily, but it’s essentially there to provide you something to face the world with.”

Such strength will be needed for me and my family today more than most days, as the pain of losing my Dad will be felt more acutely than it normally is. I could write a million words in this post and would still fail to fully describe how it is that I feel. Losing my Dad is something which I have never, and will never, truly be able to “accept”. Wounds like that don’t heal, but they can be managed and life can still be enjoyed. I actually think back to the 3rd anniversary last year, and the most pain I felt was when I realised that not once throughout the whole day had I actually managed to cry for my Dad… Which, ironically, in itself prompted the tears which I felt I should be shedding.

I miss my Dad more than I will ever be able to describe. Following his death there were moments when I would actually see him, even though I knew he was not there. Whilst that was on many levels distressing, I never resisted those moments, as I could – just for a second – trick myself into feeling his physical presence once more. Those days are long gone, as I am further along in the grieving process. However there is not one moment which I live where the pain of not only losing him, but also the damage of my family, is not present within me. This is what scares me about today – all the emotions which I “hide” so well, will be more fervent and acute than they usually are throughout the year, and I don’t know how I will manage.

Alas, today is not about me – it is about my Dad. I will be there for my Mum, and my Sister, and will probably save my tears for a quiet moment when I know that what is left of my family is okay for the day. School will be bitterly hard, as I will walk amongst people who either don’t know about what this date means to me, or who are unable to say anything about it. That said, I do have present in my life now great friends who I think I can count on. Most importantly I have Bruce and the E Street Band, and “The Rising”, an album which I run to in times of great difficulty. “You’re Missing” will be played in tribute to my Dad by me, and I hope to at least live a moment where I feel worthy of crying – displaying an unusual bout of emotional struggle, but also honesty.

My favourite rendition of “You’re Missing” is the one below. I always feel such intense emotion when Bruce plays in any form, as do fellow fans, but there is something so overwhelmingly truthful about the simplicity, but also depth, of Bruce and his piano which is unrivalled for me. If any song will make me cry today, it will be this one.

“You’re missing when I shut out the lights
You’re missing when I close my eyes
You’re missing when I see the sun rise
You’re missing”

My Dad is missing.

And so it is that I say goodnight. Today will be tough, but life’s like that. We just have to embrace what comes our way, and hope for better things one day. I hope to live in the same way as “The Rising” does, confronting all the real truths behind losing someone we love, with all the pain associated with that, but also making the transition from that pain to an emotional acceptance, and a knowing that one day we will all be together once more.

Finally, I just want to express my love for the man who has, although inadvertently, made me who I am today. My Dad is dead, but I still love him, and I know that I can do this. You can too – there is nothing greater than love, and love can conquer all.

Bye Dad.

Categories: Human Condition, Music

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Wherever This Flag’s Flown

Posted on February 12th, 2012

As the E Street Nation sits with eager anticipation for Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band’s opening performance of 2012′s Grammy Awards tonight, I reflect upon what has been an extraordinary few months for the E Street Nation.

We have had everything, from the announcement of the new album and World Tour, to the surprise single released nearly a month ago. Ed Manion and Jake Clemons have just been announced as touring with the E Street Band this year, and shows have sold out across the world. These are seriously exciting times, with many things happening to instil in us even more exhilaration at the prospect of 2012 with regards to Bruce and the Band. However, singularly the most exiting moment of recent weeks, for me at least, was Friday’s release of Springsteen’s “We Take Care of Our Own” video single.

I have been incredibly lucky this past month. I was among the first to hear Springsteen’s new single when it was released in the UK at 00:00, January the 18th. I was also one of the first to see the new video single when it was released on Friday afternoon. (It sure as hell beat sitting in Biology). When I heard the single for the first time I felt emotions with such intensity which I never had done before. It was absolutely f*cking amazing. The depth of raw power, anger, and vigour in Bruce’s voice and words, matched only by the music which accompanies him, is simply breathtaking. “We Take Care of Our Own” is like the musical equivalent of taking a sucker punch to the chest, but in a very good way indeed. I was genuinely moved, as I could feel in me the desire, like the millions who will also feel Bruce’s words as the truth in their lives, to get up and fight.

“We Take Care of Our Own” is rich with lyrics which are as powerful as they are anthemic, hitting us with a message as profoundly moving as the way in which they are delivered. Springsteen’s voice echoes the anger and determination of the people whom he represents so well, speaking with equal power the truth of the working man’s feelings about the world. Whilst painfully ironic, the words “We Take Care of Our Own” are also ambiguous, as whilst they are in demonstration against the way that the US Government (and most Governments the world over) is no longer protecting the rights, needs, and interests of the working man -rather business etc – they also conversely reflect the way we have come to adapt to that – by looking after one another. I have said it before, and I will say it again, “We Take Care of Our Own” is, and has always been, the way of the Springsteen fan community… A way which people within society are now having to adopt in order to survive, and a way which has always been reflected in Springsteen’s music since the early 70s. Government might have abandoned us, but we have each other. We also have Bruce Springsteen, and the message is clear – now is the time to rise up and change this status quo.

It is very seldom for a music video to appropriately and with equal truth manage to reflect or enhance the song and its meaning itself, however with “We Take Care of Our Own” this trend is bucked. It’s sheer simplicity gives rise to its message of an honest desire for something better. There is no glitz or glam, special effects or acting. Honesty is key, and this allows for the raw and passionate message and fighting attitude to shine through with genuine impact. Springsteen’s actions themselves are also truly reminiscent of the song. You can see in his eyes the anger he sings about, the pain he feels, and the desire for change which drives him. When he beats his chest, and strums his guitar, you know he means it.  There is an intense abundance of emotion within the video to match that of the song’s, and whilst real anger is apparent, so too is real love. Springsteen sings for us, about us, and with us – maintaining the optimism and hope which so defines the music of his career. We take care of our own.

From a rooftop in Asbury Park, to the scene of an abandoned warehouse, to finally marching down one of Asbury Park’s avenues as one of the people, the music video of “We Take Care of Our Own” incorporates the scenery which is so reflective of the America which Springsteen sings about. Beginning alone in black and white, the film makes a transition from isolation and desolation, to unity and dignified determination. Marching with the people he represents, as one of them, Springsteen finishes the video as the walking embodiment of the society which he knows we need to create once more. A society based on unity, love, and compassion, but also strength, determination, and a degree of humility. The journey of the video itself is also reflective of the journey which America and the world needs to take. In watching it one gets the overwhelming feeling of witnessing a small example of the colossal change pivotal to our survival as a people. There are moments of enlightenment, specifically when, upon a rooftop, Bruce’s image goes from being black and white to full colour – followed by a stunning image of the sun behind trues – almost like a metaphor for the positive change needed being described, being just around the corner. There are also intense moments of musical love and power. Springsteen strumming his guitar like there is no tomorrow, singing with all his might into the eyes of those whom he represents and feels the pain of, and in one scene thumping his chest in a way which is akin to a revolutionary movement’s own display of solidarity. And that’s just it, this is a revolution – a rock revolution, and we are a part of it.

On which note I feel it is right to share the video itself within this post. Watch it, feel it, experience it, and let it move you. Obviously the majority of you will have already seen it, but for those of you who haven’t you really are in for something special. It is as much a work of art as it is a declaration of war. Not a war of hate, but a war of love – to inspire in us the fervent compunction to fight for a better tomorrow, today. In the words of The Boss;

“Where’re the eyes, the eyes with the will to see
Where are the hearts that run over with mercy
Where’s the love that has not forsaken me
Where’s the work that’ll set my hands, my soul free
Where’s the spirit that’ll reign rain over me
Where’s the promise from sea to shining sea”

Categories: Love Revolution, Music

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We Take Care Of Our Own

Posted on January 18th, 2012

 

2012, the year of BRUCE, has officially begun. 

Whilst Saturday night’s Light of Day concert in Asbury Park, New Jersey proved to fans the world over that Bruce is now truly ready to rock once more, the moment which monumentally defined the beginning of 2012 being the year of Springsteen, the E Street Band, and the E Street Nation, has just occurred. For a little over 3 hours ago I read that The Boss is set to release his first single from the new album… Tomorrow.

To say that we, the fans of Springsteen, are excited, is truly an understatement. Since news broke in November that Bruce and the band would not only release a new album but also tour the world, the E Street Nation has been on an unrelenting high. With European tour dates released, and tickets sold out, the American tour dates are still greatly sought after… Surely they can’t be long now. Either way, The Boss and the E Street Band are set to take to the stage of the world once more – without any doubt fuelled by the intention of making this another monumentally great year in the history of not only the band, but also of ROCK itself too.

The BOSS is BACK

The title of the single, “WE TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN”, as it is written on the single’s cover, is not only a representation of the – anticipated – tone of Bruce’s work this album, but also is truly symbolic of the care which the E Street Band has provided to its fans for 40 years, and the love and compassion which the fans of Springsteen themselves show one another. Personally I do not feel that The Boss could have picked a more fitting title either.  The world has seen such indescribable economic turmoil recently, which has so greatly damaged Springsteen’s 2009 vision of “Working On A Dream”, and left many with nothing but fear in their hearts and worry on their minds.  Due to the “big” guys picking on the “little” guys, the global elite treating the working man as nothing more than a commodity, and destroying the very realities which define our ability to reach our dreams, we – as people – have had to unite against the oppression and in the face of adversity. Displaying immense solidarity it is true that we can be proud of ourselves, and nowhere has such community been felt more passionately than within the love shared by fans of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. We look out for one another as the band looks out for us, and as we look out for them. And, from the man himself, the message is clear – we take care of our own.

Feel the PASSION!

Said to be the “angriest” album ever created by Springsteen, by his very admission, the record also promises to have a “very pronounced spiritual dimension”, said Springsteen’s long time manager, Jon Landau. He also cited the new album as containing “social overtones” – reflected in the title of the single alone – and to incorporate ”unexpected textures – loops, electronic percussion… influences and rhythms from hip-hop to Irish folk rhythms.”, which in itself brings the eager anticipation of not only the power of the lyrics, but also the excitement of its sound too. Finally, as Jon Landau told the Rolling Stone, the new album is an exiting ”big-picture piece of work. It’s a rock record that combines elements of both Bruce’s classic sound and his Seeger Sessions experience, with new textures and styles.”. Whilst some might have a few reservations about the Seeger Sessions’ sound influencing the feel of Springsteen’s newest record, I – like most – believe that in being incorporated with Bruce’s “classic sound”, we can expect nothing less than musical perfection… But hey, doesn’t The Boss always provide us with that anyway?

An “angry” album by Bruce Springsteen is something to get seriously excited about. Whilst The Boss exudes an almost unrivalled degree of love and care within music, he is also a man who will fight with every ounce of vigour in his heart and soul for that which he believes in. Not only reflected in his words and music, but also in his political activity, The Boss is no stranger to fighting the good fight of faith. Some argue that whilst many of Bruce’s lyrics have contained the anger he is capable of, since the 80s the music itself has lacked such fervent vexation. Whether this is true or not, I think the consensus is clear – this album will offer both.

This guy really means business.

When you consider the man who is Bruce Springsteen contrasting with the world in which we live, you can imagine the shear rage within his soul… Not of hate, but of love. A love for the people he cares about and represents, in a world which is controlled by those who do not care about us. As our spiritual leader, rock representative, and poet who reflects our hearts, Bruce Springsteen sings what we feel, and fights what we need to change. Times have become considerably worse over the last few years, even since 2009 and Springsteen’s “Working On A Dream”. Whilst the evils of this world have intensified, so too has our compunction to fight… To rage against the machine… and so it is with real certainty that we can expect The Boss to have been similarly moved and angered. We can be sure that such emotion will have translated from his soul into his new record… And truly, this is going to be one hell of a musical venture.

With that in mind, within the next day we will all have one new song by the GREATEST Rock musician of all time, Bruce Springsteen, to rock out to, to cry to, and to sustain us in life. This is gonna be something really exciting… And man, are we in for one hell of a year.

The world better watch out, because Bruce Springsteen is a man on a mission, backed by his band, and by us – the E Street Nation – and fuelled by an undying desire to fight. This man is on fire, a fire of love and fervent determination to get the world back to where it should be. The world will become engulfed in the flames of love, power, and strength in his music with the E Street Band again this year… Backed by the many millions of fans who define the community behind the E Street Nation, and who will with every last breath fight for our rights, our hopes, and our dreams.

A man on a mission, but still with a smile on his face.

In the mean time, I’ll meet you further on up the road. 2012 is here. Lets show the world what we are made of.

Categories: Love Revolution, Music

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Show A Little Faith

Posted on January 16th, 2012

The power of The Boss

The last couple of weeks have seen me in a pretty dark place, reflected by some of the words I shared in my last few posts. Whilst things did look, for some time at least, to be completely dark and without the presence of hope, I sit here this evening feeling better now than I have done in quite some time.

It will come as no surprise to most that the spiritual healing which I have experienced over the past short while has been driven by the music of Bruce Springsteen. Yesterday evening something beautiful happened, as The Boss himself joined the Light of Day Concert in Asbury Park, New Jersey. For a good few hours he played with musicians from far and wide, and inspired in the few thousand people there the love and happiness which makes life worth living. Springsteen was, of course, on top form, and looks more ready than ever to embark on the World Tour which lies ahead this year.

24 hours ago I was feeling totally awful, and ended up sitting alone into the night with nothing but painful memories and a heavy heart to keep me company. I was blessed however in that I did have contact with a few good friends who I know were concerned about me, but who offered their support. Upon waking up this morning I entered this day in the same way that I did finish yesterday, but with receiving a message from a dear friend, and listening to the music of Bruce Springsteen, I felt a wave of faith come over me and now feel absolved of whatever it was which was causing me the pain I have described.

It is pretty amazing the power which someone can have on one’s own feelings. It took literally one message to make me feel better, and only a couple of friends to lift my spirits. Then when this evening came I saw for the first time the footage from yesterday’s Light of Day Concert, and I was reminded of all the reasons to believe.

Life is just so inexplicably beautiful, yet the contrast with the darkness which is often so prevalent can sometimes detract from the beauty which really is all around us – beauty in expression, beauty in others, beauty in relationships with others, and beauty in the natural world we live in. I was blinded not by light, but by darkness. I forgot my reasons to believe, and how important it is to show a little faith. (After all, there’s magic in the night).

One of the many things which I love about Bruce Springsteen is his ability to unite people in his words which reflect our soul’s deepest desires to feel fulfilled, and loved. This was beautifully reflected last night when The Boss took to the stage with his fellow musicians to play “Thunder Road”… Take a look at what happened.

Roughly 1600 people there, everyone singing the words which Bruce himself penned over 36 years ago. With joy, happiness, and love. In every way possible Springsteen’s music was harnessed to reflect every great quality of not only what it means to be alive, but to live in this beautiful world too, with people around us. Fundamentally this is the effect which the music of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band has on people – it unites them. Whether that be in the face of adversity, or whilst experiencing intense joy. Providing us with something to face the world with, Bruce’s music is truly testament to the power of artistic expression. He and his band are essentially the pinnacle of musical perfection.

Sitting by the bank of the River Tay yesterday, I was in a state of deep reflection. I sat looking at the bridge with the water raging beneath it wondering about life and questioning why it was that, despite how ever hard I tried, I couldn’t heal the people I love. Feeling totally alone in that moment I turned to Springsteen, and – rather poignantly – “The River”. I felt an intensely personal connection between myself and the music, but more interesting is how in a moment I felt so terribly lost in the world, I turned to music. Not only to music, but to Bruce Springsteen… A man who I basically listen to all the time. I know I am not alone. That moment is one which many share. Bruce provides an immeasurable number of people with the strength to face life with… One of the many interesting things about Springsteen fans is that they are never “casual”. You either become infatuated, or you don’t. His music is not just music, it is a way of life, and it is a definition of life.

The great thing is the fact that Bruce has such fun too. I mean, it is profoundly moving and equally wonderful that his lyrics can sustain us when times are so tough, but also it is important to remember how they accompany us when times are great too. Life is about love, but it is also about having a bit of damn fun from time to time too! With that in mind, check this video – also from Light of Day – where the New Jersey Poet, and Rock ‘n’ Roll Laureate of a generation himself, Bruce Springsteen, proves himself to be one seriously cool rockin’ daddy too… Who really knows how to have fun.

With the same vigour and love which the crowd at Light of Day shared yesterday, with Bruce, I hope we can continue into 2012 with. I was mistaken to feel alone in this world, as I came to realise that with Bruce Springsteen and good friends, I will never be alone again. And even when loneliness feels like the only truth in your life, nor will you ever have to face life alone again either… I recognise the stark contrast between this post and yesterday’s, but I mean it when I say that once again music has contributed to my healing. As have people who, despite being so far away, are as caring as even my closest friends are.

Here’s to friendship, love, music, and Bruce Springsteen and the ‘The heart-stopping, pants-dropping, house-rocking, earth-shaking, booty-quaking, Viagra-taking, love-making -Le-gen-dary E – Street – Band!’.

Finally, soon to be published on The Light in Darkness’ official website, www.thelightindarkness.com, is a piece I wrote about the Big Man, Clarence Clemons. I am excited to have a piece of writing published and really hope that my words positively reflect the feelings of the E Street Nation regarding the BIGGEST man you’ve ever seen, who would have been 70 last week.

Categories: Human Condition, Music

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Long Walk Home

Posted on January 14th, 2012

I took a long walk home this evening. Truthfully I couldn’t face the prospect of getting home due to the unhappiness I knew would confront me when I arrived. Of course when I got home that wave of upset hit me – as I expected it to – and so with nobody else to talk to I thought I would turn to my little blog.

Taking a good few hours to walk a distance which would usually take about 40 minutes, I had a lot on my mind. During my walk I was confronted with the reality of my life and that made me feel the way I do now. I feel pretty upset – again – this evening, and so it is arguable that I am writing this more for myself than anyone else.

A few days ago I wrote a post entitled “My Only Faith“, which described in some detail the event which lead me to becoming who I am right now. Whilst I know it was a shock to some, mainly readers who have been drawn to my blog due to a mutual love of music and of Bruce Springsteen, it was something which I received a lot of support for too. I didn’t write it for support, I just wrote it for the purpose of documenting something which defines me. Still, the support I received was heartwarming, and actually provoked a series of thoughts which have lead to tonight’s new post.

No doubt I will regret posting this, but I will with equal truth regret not posting it too, so in this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation I might as well show some courage and post this.

Walking home I was overwhelmed by a sense of self-worthlessness. This is not too uncommon, in fact I think most people feel this way at times. What did strike me though was the terrible feeling of isolation which I felt so painfully when experiencing the aforementioned emotion. This week at school I was reminded of the lack of a friend who, as I have talked about in recent posts, was the primary person who has helped me through my difficult years. Unlike any other person I have ever met, I could speak to him at any time, about anything, and be assured that in speaking to him I would feel at least a little better. Sadly January is the 4th month now that I have been separated from him, and whilst I am arguably more used to the reality of my life without his support, from time to time I feel the intensely crippling lack of his care in my life.

I often feel immensely isolated despite having, especially at school, a large group of people I know around me. Many of them are friends on one level, a few are real friends who I can engage with on most levels. However to this day I am yet to form the sort of relationship where I feel able to be truly honest about how I feel, and so that gives rise to the sense of isolation which I described. With the exception of the person I am now separated from, this remains true. My inability to feel able to be honest all of the time with even my closest friends is not their fault. It is my fault for a reason I can’t quite describe. I am, like many, someone who struggles profoundly with showing honest upset and a genuine need of support to those around me… It makes me feel self-conscious, and actually a little embarrassed. This is true with the majority of the interactions I experience in my day to day life.

The interesting thing is that, due to this blog and The Boss, I have met a few people now who I have formed such a relationship with. At least I think I have. I feel more able to be honest with them, through writing, than I am even with my own ‘family’. It’s a sad fact though that many hundreds, and thousands, of miles separate me from the people who right now know me best.

This stage of my life is characterised by intense unhappiness, loneliness, fear, chronic worry, and serious self doubt and some self-loathing. When thinking about someone who I greatly care about but feel distanced from, something hit me – sometimes I wouldn’t even want to be my friend, so why would anyone else? Whilst I recognise this thought to be contrary to my emotional health, I must recognise the truth behind feeling this way regardless. How could I ever expect someone else to love or care about me, when my own parents laterally never have? At least not enough to help me when I have needed it.

These days life seems so incredibly bleak, as where in the past I at least had the promise of school as the way to spend my time until something ‘better’ happened to me, I will – in 19 weeks – be leaving school, but what awaits me? Either University, which I don’t want to go to anyway right now, or pursuing the dream of travelling, teaching English, and writing, which – whilst I would love so much – will no doubt not materialise. I’ll be seeing Bruce Springsteen this year, but even that doesn’t inspire me to any great degree right now. Don’t get me wrong, my love for his music is as great and key to my life as it always is, but I’m scared because beyond his concerts I face a life with potentially no direction, possibly no happiness.

I feel trapped in this life here in Scotland, unable to break free and experience the joy and happiness which I always felt everyone was deserved of. Maybe I am not entitled to it. Frankly the only thing which keeps me going is my obligation to life, and a love for the people I care about. I wake up every morning, and currently nothing seems to threaten that cycle. I certainly won’t ever disrupt it in any way. So I am stuck. Sure, I can carry on wishing and praying to wake up a different person to the one I am now. I can hope to awake as someone who has the happiness, companionship, and ability to fulfil at least some dreams, which many do… But I won’t wake up as anyone but myself. Unless God himself kills me I’ll still be here, and so most likely I face another 70 years of life minimum.

Thus, I must accept everything and seek to make the changes I can in my life to enable me to enjoy living again… Problem is, I have done literally everything in my power to make that happen. I try my best, all the time. For myself, and even more so for others. I care so deeply about people, and I have friends who I hope and pray for even more than I do myself. Sadly I currently don’t seem to be getting anywhere.

The question remains – what do I do? What does anyone do in this situation?

I hate appearing to be the depressing bore which I must seem right now, but this isn’t self pity. I genuinely feel so lost in life, and don’t know who to turn to anymore. I wish with all my heart I could be with the people who, at least in talking to, make me feel more complete than I usually do… But I can’t right now. This is my life, and my family is my family. But God, does it really have to be this hard all the time?

Speaking of God. Where is he? Why do so many people with no good in their actions have such apparently “blessed” lives, when I know a few people who deserve nothing but happiness and yet receive every negative emotion under the sun? I try my hardest… I really do. I get up every single day trying to make life better for me, my family, and those I care about. But can I manage? No I can’t. And short of just giving up, what can I do but ‘carry on’. Finally, whilst this post has been quite negative, the majority of my life is spent approaching life with the most positive attitude I can muster. Thus I think I am entitled to ‘vent’ my upset, at least every now and again.

Despite it being only 22:00 on a Saturday night, I’ll go to bed after finishing this. No doubt I will regret it in the morning, but what can I say – this is just how I have been feeling recently. Before I go, here is a song which is sustaining me right now.

From “Darkness on the Edge of Town”, I present you with “Racing In The Street”. As performed here in 2009 at the Paramount Theatre, Asbury Park by the one and only E Street Band. Lead by The Boss (of course), this piece is so profoundly intense and passionate. Note Max Weinberg’s ferocity on the drums, and the deep melancholy and truth in Springsteen’s voice.

Wow.

At roughly 4 minutes and 52 seconds, when Bruce looks directly into the camera, I feel so incredibly moved. It is like Bruce is looking into my eyes, into my soul, and seeing in me the pain which he is singing about. It’s a beautiful moment which signifies the power of music within a personal relationship such as the one I have with the music of Bruce Springsteen… A relationship which I know many other people share too, for countless different reasons.

That song always reminds me of the power and extreme determination which can only ever be born out of suffering. In listening to that I am reminded of the reasons to keep fighting. For my love of my family, those I care about, and also in some way a love for myself. It is pivotal to love oneself as well as loving others, as therein lies our ability to be truly happy in life. Or at least recognise our potential to be happy.

Love is, after all, what life is all about. And it is love which will cause me to get up tomorrow morning, and face another day to come.

I know that the day will come when my feelings today are but a memory, and I know that one day – I hope at least – that I will live a life of happiness with those who love me as much as I do then… In the mean time however I must recognise – as we all must – the difficult things which define us and shape our characters. In the moment I wrote this post my feelings above were validated in their truth, in that they felt real to me.

I guess sometimes we just have to ‘keep on keeping on’. And as my old friend put it; “You can cope – hang in there!”.

Categories: Human Condition

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The Courage of Conviction

Posted on January 9th, 2012

Having literally just published my last post I have been seriously questioning whether or not I was right in sharing such words with the big wide world, as a friend said it is the kind of post which I wrote more because I needed to write it rather than people needing to read it.

However I am going to stick with it, as after all it is the truth, and I am not ashamed of it.

My family’s problems haven’t left me with problems of equal intensity, I have just become someone who is growing stronger and someone who feels the time is right to share on their experiences, not only to help themselves but also anyone who reads it.

And so it is, I will leave the last post up, and hope that it is received in the way in which it was intended – as a message that hard things do happen, but sometimes you just gotta talk about them.

Thanks to all those who appreciate the post and are supporting of my message, and to those with whom it did not sit well, my normal Bruce related posts will be back soon!

In the mean time, here’s a song which fits quite well around this post and my last post too.

*A few days on and the level of support of my last post has been immeasurable. I am truly touched, and equally happy that my words have been, despite my initial fears, accepted with the meaning in which they were meant.

I know that many of the readers of this blog read my blog because of their love of Bruce Springsteen, and music, which is the usual focus of my posts… Whilst I love writing these as much as some love reading them, and whilst I will be writing much more on the E Street Band in the future, this blog is an honest one, and the post which precedes this one is one of true honesty.

More to come – most of it E STREET related – soon. In the mean time, take care.

Categories: My thoughts.

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